Joey: I feel like I’m gonna puke.
Me: But you won’t, so it’s okay!
Joey: Aly…you’re…such a fucking sweetheart. And you need to tone it down.
Me: WHAT! I’m trying to make you feel better!
Joey: Yeah but I want pity. I want, like, “aww sweetie it’s gonna be okay” and you’re giving me “you’re not gonna puke so shut the fuck up”.
Me: I’m not!! I’m telling you the reasons why it’s gonna be okay!
Joey: Without saying “it’s gonna be okay”.
Me: I SAID THOSE EXACT WORDS!
Joey: …Did you?
Me: YES!
Joey: …All I heard is “you’re not gonna puke.”
Me: FUCK YOU!