Theatre Halloween Countdown (14/15): LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS —— “if you wanna be profound, if you really gotta justify, take a breath and look around; a lot of folks deserve to die.”
A standard slasher, nothing particularly remarkable, but fun anyway. The characters were surprisingly cute and likable (Brooke especially) and while we didn’t get to see the killer’s face (and they seem to be specifically avoiding naming the actor), I found him attractive regardless lol.
02 – The Killing of a Sacred Deer – 2/5
The scenes focusing on the family falling apart as the children are dying were pretty good; everything else was supremely underwhelming and outright boring. All of the acting was absolutely awful, and I feel like it MUST have been on purpose but that doesn’t mean I liked it. The scenes that were definitely written to be uncomfortable did their jobs, but not in a good way, in my opinion.
03 – The Monster Project – 2/5
The effects were surprisingly good for a little indie film, but I found myself feeling pretty bored during the latter half. Lots of silly jumpscares, lots of awkward-feeling dialogue.
04 – Jacob’s Ladder – 4/5
Pretty good, if a little slow at points (which isnt rly a bad thing; this movie lends itself to that type of storytelling, it’s just not for me personally). The imagery was REALLY freaky; the being-wheeled-through-the-asylum scene and the all-the-way-through-demon-fucking-party scene in particular were fantastically disturbing.
05 – Unsane – 3/5
Very uncomfortable and distressing, although not what I expected from the trailers. I thought the unusual filming style would bother me more than it actually ended up doing; I actually stopped noticing pretty quickly. It was frustrating to watch the heroine keep making such poor decisions; saying “i dont belong here with these crazy people” while you’re locked up in an asylum is a TERRIBLE thing to say and will absolutely not help you lmao.
06 – Intruders (2015) – 4/5
SUPER interesting plot and VERY likable antagonists (imo). The depictions of her phobias and her change in behavior as the movie goes on was very cool.
07 – Home Sweet Home (2013) – 4/5
VERY GOOD. The violence was unexpectedly brutal and surprising at points. The scene with the cat trailing blood everywhere, the gross noises the husband made after his jaw was broken, the wife being decked in the face with brass knuckles. This movie was fairly straight-forward with basically no subplot, which was interesting, and the ending was pretty good too. I found myself yelling “OH SHIT” multiple times lol.
08 – Slender (2016) – 0/5
Man I never give movies a score this low but there was like, nothing good about this lmfao. Lots of dialogue that seemed to be straight-up delivered or said wrong. Lines that have a few words that seem backwards for what they’re trying to say, and I guess just weren’t re-shot. The characters were very unlikable. Basically nothing happened, even by the end.
09 – Deadly Virtues: Love. Honour. Obey – 4.9/5
I give this one a weird score (to match its weird title lol) because it was REALLY REALLY GOOD, but not the type of thing I’d watch multiple times (which is usually what I consider worth a 5/5). The ending was super satisfying and while some of it was kinda gross, I liked basically all of it. I am a little frustrated that so many things were left ambiguous though.
10 – Jigsaw – 3/5
It was okay. I saw most of the ending coming, and I think the “I was Jigsaw’s right hand man from the beginning” type of twists are overused in this franchise. But the traps were fun to watch and the bit where John rushes to save Logan bcus he realized he didnt deserve to die over an honest mistake was the best part. Made me almost cry. John is and will always be my fave.
11 – Emelie – 2/5
Not bad, but absolutely distressing. I never want to see this movie again. It does a fantastic job at what it sets out to do but holy shit I hated every second of it. I was too far gone the second she started playing that sex tape and I haven’t felt clean since.
12 – Hellbound: Hellraiser II – didn’t finish
Maybe it was just my mood but I was rly bored watching this. As usual the visual effects are super gross and freaky, but the rest of the film isn’t very engaging.
13 – Venom (2018) – 4/5
Very funny and fun to watch! Although not really what the trailers made it seem to be. Venom was surprisingly cute and silly (tho I expected him to be silly bcus of the ‘turd in the wind’ line) and the way he encourages Eddie’s relationship with Annie was really great lol.
14 – Hell House LLC – 3/5
Interesting concept, if a little boring at points. Some nice non-jumpscare creepiness throughout which is appreciated.
15 – Darkness Falls – 2/5
Not bad; I saw this a long time ago but didn’t remember much. It’s an okay concept and the effects are pretty fun. Something about the whole climactic fight was just…funny to me. I can’t really explain why. I was kinda chuckling the entire time lol. Sidenote: why did the little brother sometimes have, like, a European accent??
16 – Crush The Skull – 5/5
This movie was so good lmfao, it was really funny, and even if the plot was kinda “eh” overall, the characters were really fun to watch. I loved the silly ending title drop.
17 – Pet Semetary – 3/5
Lots of horrid imagery with impressive effects given the time period. A good chunk of the acting was pretty silly (especially Gage) but hey, 80s. My biggest issue though: WHY DIDN’T ANYBODY ELSE WHO LIVED THERE BUILD A FENCE?
18 – Halloween (2018) – 5/5
REALLY GOOD! Jamie Lee Curtis is super gorgeous and this movie was both really tense and really funny. I noticed a couple parallels to the original which was a lot of fun, and the violence was great and brutal.
19 – The Gracefield Incident – 2/5
Eh. The acting was subpar from the get-go but somehow it got more annoying the longer it went on. It was interesting how the aliens glitched the phones into recording, to justify the ‘found footage but cameras are everywhere’ thing. The ending was kinda cute though.
20 – Malevolent (2018) – 2/5
Wasn’t really able to pay attention to this for personal reasons but what I did actually absorb seemed kinda interesting.
21 – The Town That Dreaded Sundown (2014) – didn’t finish
Gotta say, whenever I want to avoid certain things due to personal issues, they seem to seek me out in whatever I watch or listen to. Had to stop watching it bcus it was just…not a good time mentally. Also REALLY weird to see Anthony Anderson in a serious role.
22 – Nails (2017) – 3/5
Interesting! The monster design was pretty cool (even if I don’t really understand what was going on w/ his mouth), but the ending was kind of a bummer. To be fair though, there are few horror movies with the cajones to kill off the hero and have the villain win (I’M LOOKING AT YOU, THE STRANGERS 2) so I respect that.
23 – Mohawk – didn’t finish
Not in a place to really pay attention but seemed interesting enough. Might come back to it some other time.
24 – Slice (2018) – 4/5
Very fun! Super silly and campy obviously but in a really good way. Surprisingly the effects weren’t bad (which I expected them to be) and the story was engaging.
25 – Noroi: The Curse – 4/5
A slow burn, but a good ending. The effects were definitely 2005 but that didn’t keep me from being pretty dang distressed at the reveal of Kana and the babies.
26 – Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) – 4/5
Usually with old movies like this, I don’t find them as scary as their legacy implies. But this one was truly distressing. A few parts that had me actually laughing (”look what your brother did to the door!”, the dad(?) smacking Sally with the broom, Leatherface trying to get Grandpa to hold the hammer properly) but most everything else was legitimately frightening and disturbing.
27 – Found Footage 3D – 2/5
Something about watching the main “couple” was incredibly tough for me. Derek was such a disgusting, shitty, horrible person that was absolute torture to watch, and seeing the way they fought, and even their sex scene, was just…incredibly unpleasant. The climax was pretty great, with Derek basically exploding. The way some of the characters just burst like water balloons was pretty funny. The jumpscare ending was dumb tho.
28 – Hell House LLC II: The Abaddon Hotel – 3/5
An interesting elaboration on the first movie, but kinda campy at points. Had some really good subtle horror throughout though.
29 – Better Watch Out – 4/5
Not even remotely what I expected it to be but VERY GOOD. The turn was startling in a good way, and the sudden spike in brutality was even better. And honestly fuck that kid.
30 – Dead Body (2017) – 2/5
Couldn’t really hold my interest until the end, even then it was pretty run of a mill. I liked the antagonist but everyone else I didn’t really care about.
31 – mon mon mon MONSTERS – 5/5
REALLY GOOD and REALLY SAD. It was really heartbreaking watching them torture that poor monster, but the movie did a great job making you hate the cast, and even the main character because of everything he was complicit in. The ending was satisfying and sad at the same time, and the reunion between the two monsters was touching and heartbreaking.
Mégane à trois 