I’ve had a couple of HUGE dogs to bathe at work; a couple mastiffs and some larger than usual rottweilers and labradors

there was a rottweiler named Duke who was very big, but very friendly. he’d hop up onto me and slam both of his paws onto my chest and nearly knock me the fuck out. while i was brushing him he’d put his paws on my arm, in the process putting most of his weight on me. i’ve had little dogs do that, but this guy was over 100lbs and i was struggling, but he was still really cute

then there was a lab named Kona who was very sweet and really wanted to play; the first thing that happened when i opened the door to her suite was that she tried to put her paws on me but she just punched me right in the crotch. she’d also hop up and put both (soaking wet) paws on my chest while i was trying to blow dry her like the smaller dogs do when they’re scared

on the other hand, there’s also Mazie who is a 170lb mastiff who H A T E S getting her nails trimmed. she’s so big and so heavy that even my coworker holding onto her with his entire body can barely fucking keep her still. i have her tied up to the actual grooming tables and she can topple them like they’re nothing. i’ve bathed her twice and i’ve gotten injured both times (altho the second time was an accident, she didn’t attack me or anything)

and then there’s Rogue who is also a bigass mastiff but he’s a stoic and well behaved boy

when movie ads have bits of reviews and it chooses a quote that just says “wow” it’s so weird

bcus that EASILY could have been “wow, this is such a shitty film”

tells me nothing