Tag: Anonymous

Alright, this is gonna be a BUNCH of drama and dirty laundry from the last four months aired publicly. I was probably going to make a post about this anyway though. I’m gonna put all of it under a cut bcus it’s gonna be a lot. I have a lot to say about this.

First of all, I appreciate your apology. I never expected to get one. I know who you are, Anon, but I won’t use your name. I don’t know how aware you are of the fact that I know you’ve been stalking me, but I’ve been keeping tabs the same way that you have.

And I’m going to be blunt and say, the person you’re blaming isn’t the only villain here.

He showed me logs of how you reacted to finding out that he and I are dating. You saying “it’s good you’re on the other side of the country, because i don’t know what I’d do.” Implications that you’d hurt yourself, or him, or me.

Do you honestly, wholeheartedly believe he had a choice in how he responded? Would you have accepted him saying “yes, I have a girlfriend, she and I are dating”? Or would you have threatened suicide or something else? Do you think he wasn’t backed into a corner, forced into making up a story to protect either himself, or you, from whatever you were threatening to do?

He didn’t want you to die. He was afraid you would kill yourself if he admitted to dating me. You were his friend and he didn’t want your blood on his hands.

You were abusing and manipulating him. Whether you realized it or not.

I didn’t want to go along with it. I thought he should just be honest, and you’d be fine. Was lying to you the right option? No, probably not. It caused all three of us god knows how much grief. I told him many, many times to just come clean and rip the bandaid off. Lying wasn’t fair to anybody.

It wasn’t fair to him, because he had to keep up a facade of “i’m single and this girl is crazy”.

It wasn’t fair to me, because I had to lie about dating him, I had to pretend my “bf” was someone else, and I had to shoulder the knowledge that I was being watched all the time. Every post I made, all my tags, etc, were being watched by you, and I knew it, and I hated it. I knew you were screenshoting my posts and sending them to him, I knew you were demanding that he block me. It was exhausting and upsetting and frustrating and ENRAGING. Because I wanted it to stop and I couldn’t do ANYTHING about it. I was afraid of how it would affect him. Because, again, if you hurt yourself, it wouldn’t affect me, but it would absolutely weigh on him. I had to put myself aside to make sure he didn’t have that on his conscience.

And, honestly? It wasn’t fair to you, because you thought your friend, someone you trusted, was telling you the truth, when he wasn’t. Bluntly, I don’t like you, but even despite that I know that type of treatment isn’t fair.

You were lied to. Yes. But you cannot pretend that he is the only person at fault here. His choices were “be honest and they kill themselves”, or “lie and keep them alive”. 

I don’t know how serious you were about any of those threats. If you want the honest truth, I didn’t believe them for a second. But he did. And he thought that if he was truthful about dating me, that you’d be dead and it would be his fault.

Thank you for your apology. Honestly, I mean that.

I don’t forgive you. For what you did to him, or for what you did to me. 

But I hope you can move on and get better relationships in your life. 

I hope you can move on from threatening people. I hope you can move on from stalking the people you hate. I hope you can cope better, and I hope you can get better mentally so suicide doesn’t feel like the best/only option.