Tag: negativity//

i have so many hurdles in the way of me learning to drive

1) no money for classes

2) no way to get ~60 hours of driving with another driver, considering joey’s dad has serious roadrage and my dad is an alcholic, and anyone else i could ask is a working adult with little spare time

3) my learners permit has expired and once again, i dont rly have the money to renew it

4) i’m already a nervous/anxious person so i rly need a teacher that’ll be able to keep me from freaking out, but god knows i dont know how likely it’d be for me to get one

i want to be able to drive so badly. i wanna be independent and self-sufficient but god damnit that seems to be impossible right now

the radical left honestly fucking terrifies me

it was bad enough when radical progressives were getting people fired from their jobs over tweets, but now this??? beating people with steel poles because they went to see a gay, jewish man speak at a college campus??!? throwing fireworks at a building, tearing down barricades to use as weapons, wHAT THE FUCK

conservatives have barely been taken seriously for most of my life. republicans have always been the butt of the joke where i’m from. the democrats were always the tolerant, progressive, understanding ones. the republicans were stereotyped as “homophobic, traditionalist, war-and-money-hungry assholes”.

how the hell did this happen? is this a result of that? have the right been built up to be this terrible dictatorship-in-the-making and now people on the left are convinced anybody even REMOTELY resembling a non-left person is “The Enemy” and needs to be fUCKING BEATEN WITH A STEEL ROD!?

obviously, obviously not the entirety of the left is like this. i know that very well. i DESPERATELY wish there were more vocal and listened to moderate people on the left

but jesus christ why is this such a big event? why are there so many of these lunatics that are beating innocent bystanders in the name of “fighting fascism”?? they’re just using politics as a fucking excuse to do this fucking purge bullshit

it’s honestly amazing how well i’ve been doing re: not getting stressed over looking for a job

but i think now that i’m fucking with shit like sculptris and 3ds max i’m starting to get down on myself about being unqualified or Not Good Enough™ like usual

like i mean i keep telling myself my chances of actually getting this job at bethesda are SUPER low, but i don’t think that’s actually allowing me to not get excited about the possibility

i kinda just wanna get it over with and apply right now, but i dont want to half ass my portfolio

but at the same time if i put a lot of time and effort into my portfolio and i get rejected (which is likely) i’ll probably feel like shit

EUGH

man, ever since i made that game grumps animated, my dad has been hounding me to animate a music video for him and i don’t want to

he doesn’t seem to understand that animating dialogue and animating music are WILDLY different; not to mention, one animation i made for fun and for no one but myself is not the same as being pressured to make one for someone else

it kind of takes the joy out of animating. i already don’t do it often (i only draw frames for my next gg animated like, once every three months) but now it feels forced.

if i were to finish my gg animated and upload it, if he heard about it, he would DEFINITELY give me shit.